Love. Pff. Who wants any part of it? As far as I can tell, love makes us all act against our own self interests. We allow those we are romantically in love with to treat us in ways we would never put up with from our closest friends. And when it's all over all people seem to want to do is trash the other person. State how horrible they were. How they made us do awful things. And treated us sooooo poorly. Well, fuck that. I know my ex never made me do anything. I agreed to it all. I accepted his bull shit. I put up with it. Why? B/c I fn loved the jack ass. I don't hate my ex. I hate myself for who I was when I was with my ex. I hate myself for what I let him get away with. He didn't make me do anything. I did it all. Freely. And when I think back on it hate myself for it.

And I hate all those whiney ass holes out there bitching about their exes and what evil cunts they were for spending all their money and sleeping around or whatever. I just want to shake them an scream in their faces, "What the fuck made you stay, you stupid piece of shit?! Take some personal fucking responsibility!!!"

If I can come to terms with my needy co-dependent personality, so the fuck can you.

So, the next time you talk a bunch of shit on your ex, realize what you are saying is, "I am such a weak piece of shit, I let this worthless ass shit all over me for years. Man, am I pathetic." Or maybe take a sobering look at yourself and realize you were getting something out of that relationship. Figure out what that was and try to find a healthier way to get it. You know, without all the needy co-dependance. While you're at it, maybe appreciate the person who gave it to you for years. Sure they ripped your heart out, but, Jesus, didn't they love you too? And if they didn't. If they really didn't, ask yourself what allowed you to stay in a loveless relationship.

Moral of the story: Don't be such a fucking victim. It's really childish. . . and unattractive.

I know I'm a complete idiot when I fall for a guy. I'm working on being less so. In the mean time, I'm not going to blame others for my bad decisions. I'm going to take it in stride and try to do better next time. I think that's the only adult way to look at it.