So, this is my blog about it. This blog is about me muddling clumsily through this life, thinking out loud about it. It will likely be mostly about boys, b/c that seems to be what preoccupies me the most. I'm not saying that's a good thing, or that I'm proud of the fact. I'm just saying it is what it is. And, well, I've gotten feedback that people seem to enjoy my little neurotic dating tales. So, I figure, as long as some people are getting a few chuckles out of it, what's the harm, right? :)
I also reserve the right to blog about whatever the fuck strikes my fancy at the time. I might stray off onto religion, politics, morality, ethics, I might fucking blog about my bangs. That's right. I fucking might blog about my bangs. They are new and I love them! :p
I'm also sure my blog will be full of typos, misspellings, terrible punctuation, and grammer. If that's a big rub for you, I'm sorry. :/
So, here goes my first little story of 2012.
I get a message on okcupid (from here on out I will refer to okcupid as okc) in the first time in what feels like FOREVER from a boy who I actually have a high match percentage w/ (96%) and who I ALSO find physically attractive! Whoa! Freaking awesome! I read his profile. No red flags there. Everything seems normal enough. He enjoys reading. He is a paid writer (whoa. major points for that). He has good tastes in books, music, movies. He enjoys trying different types of food. And he ends his profile w/ "If Jesus or God is on your lists of 'things I could never do without' please don't bother." Heh. So far, so good! :D
So, this was his message to me:
You, lady, are an absolute doll. I would really like to hear the story behind your pic. I would definitely love to chat with you sometime. I think we would get along extremely well.
Seems nice enough to me. I like that this seemingly intelligent (I'm assuming he's intellegent b/c we are a high match percent. ;] ), attractive guy thinks I'm an "absolute doll." :) And he would love to talk to me and he thinks we'd get along. All good stuff, in my book.
So, I message him back:
You, sir, seem pretty niffty, yourself. I suspect anyone who likes Noam Chomsky and Howard Zinn would get along w/ me pretty well. I'd love to tell you the story behind my pic. How about over drinks sometime?
Haha. I'm done fucking around on okc. If I see a guy who I think I might like, I pretty much don't wanna waste a bunch of time messaging back and forth a hundred times. I'd rather meet right away and see if there's anything there or not.
Anyways. So, he messages me:
I can't possibly think of a reason why not doll. Not that I tried. I would love to set something up. What's your schedule like?
(o)_(o) And every subsequent message (three total) has included some reference to me as a "doll." Ugh. Seriously? The first time it was a compliment and it was sweet. Just applying it as a now established pet name is profoundly annoying. You don't even know me, guy. How the hell do you know if I'm a doll or not? I could be the biggest fucking jerk on the planet. How can you use a term of endearment before you ever had the chance to be endeared by me?!?! Ahhh!
So, now I'm caught. Is this a deal breaker move? Is using an obnoxious pet name before ever meeting that severe of an infraction? Should I just let it slide, follow through w/ a date, and hope for the best? Should I tell him I find it odd and hope he stops? Or will that start an argument and just kill whatever potential there may have been before anything even starts?
So, idk. I find it pretty obnoxious, but I also, admittedly, have no concept of what "normal" is. :/
Skeptically Yours,
The Atheist Girl Next Door
No, don't break the deal. Ignore it for the time being, go out on a couple of dates, and get to know him, face-to-face. If he keeps on calling you "doll" throughout the entire date, then, sure, bring it up, but if you bring it up before the first date, he's more likely to scamper off for the following reasons:
ReplyDelete* It's a lot easier to interpret it as a rebuke and stop messaging you (i.e., if on a date, he's kind of physically bound to the dinner table ;) )
* If you bring it up face-to-face, he'll be able to read your body language and know that he hasn't horribly offended you to the point of ruining any chance with you; textual communication bars such signals from being read.
Mmmm... Sounds like a tricky situation. Though, I see the utility of trying out simpler solutions before resorting complex ones. Why throw the baby out with bath water (unless absolutely necessary)?
ReplyDeleteJust tell him about your dilemma that you described above in a line or two. Say something like, "pet names are not my kind of thing" specially when they are coming from a technical stranger and you "like to take things one step at a time". Wait for his response, and if he goes off the handle, you may always have an excuse to ditch him. Hope this helps.