So, I want to share a couple of resent conversations I've had and then ask a question.

On two separate occasions, by two completely different people, I have had my friendship interactions with men questioned. The first was by a very respected and highly valued female friend of mine. This person is intelligent, educated, sharp, witty, side splittingly funny, astute, a skeptic, freethinker, and all around great gal! I think that's why I was particularly thrown off when she asked me the other night, "So, why aren't you dating any of the great guys who constantly post on you Facebook page?"

After staring kind of blankly at her for a moment, I replied with what I thought most directly answered her question, "Because I don't want to sleep with any of them." That gave her a bit of pause. I followed with, "Isn't that important in someone you date?" The conversation moved on from there and we didn't peruse the issue any further. Perhaps my answer came off a bit flippant and defensive and she decided to back off. Perhaps I meant it to.

The second time I had my friendship interactions questioned was by a somewhat less respected, less highly valued friend. Only because I do not know this person very well. So, I'm out with a group of friends and through conversation I find out one of them (a guy) has recently moved close to where I live in the city. We start discussing restaurants in the area we like and haven't tried yet, etc. I tell him he should try this or that restaurant and after a while we decide we should go out to one of my favorite restaurants together. Now I see this as a completely innocent and natural action. Someone I already know and am friends with moves close to me. Of course, we make plans to hang out. . Apparently, however, this was seen as me coming onto him. Later, in a Facebook message I was told that I had been "eyeing" this guy "for a considerable period of time." Hm. Really?

So, this is my question: Why is it when I talk to women, smile at their stories, laugh at their jokes, touch their arm to express affection or comfort, greet them with a hug, or ask them to have dinner at a favorite restaurant, all these interactions are seen as innocent and purely platonic, but those same interactions with a guy are seen as flirtations?

In this day and age of sexual fluency, when we know and acknowledge that sexual emotions and attractions are bigger and more complex than the traditional gender box we have historically put them in, are we still questioning the validity of opposite sex friendships? If I'm allowed to have sexual feelings for and fool around with my female friends, why am I not allowed to have platonic feelings for men? I really enjoy the male friendships I have and think my life would be less rich without them.

Why are friendship interactions between the opposite sex assumed to be a precursor to an eventual sexual relationship? I'm not saying those friendship interactions never lead to sexual relationships. Of course, they sometimes do. But, they often times don't. And isn't that okay? Can't men and women enjoy platonic relationships?